Vegetable of the Week: The King Oyster Mushroom

The King Oyster Mushroom is like the oyster mushroom's brother who has taken lots of steroids and now works as a bouncer.

I have to admit this is a bit of a sad speciment but he still tasted fantastic. I found a recipe for vegetarian bacon that was just king oyster mushroom sawn into planks, saturated with smoked paprika and salt and fried. Didn't have any smoked paprika so I used normal and it was tasty. But nothing like bacon.

I also tried grating them into ommelettes and sauces, which was very good too. In a subtle, grated way.

Morrison's Magical Fruit and Veg Section

I went to Morrison's the other day and was amazed. No, I am sadly not being sponsored. They'd done a refit and whilst 90% of it looked the same to me, the fruit and veg bit was ridiculous! New 'swamp coolers' breathed swirling marshy mists over central tables of immaculate produce, miniature lawns of herbs such as sage and mint were neatly but abundantly displayed. But the most striking thing was how much completely weird things they were stocking - prickly pears, spherical courgettes the size and shape of baseballs, dragon fruit, every kind of posh mushroom you could possibly hope to find in San Francisco....I was gobsmacked.

I can't be bothered to go and persuade a supermarket manager to let me take pictures of his territory, or have lots of shoppers stare at me while I do so, in fact, leaving the house is looking doubtful today. So instead I have searched the interweb for evidence and it turns out, it's not just Waterlooville where the aliens have landed. Here are some stolen pictures.

 

 

Love that there's a Wrexham.com.

 

I found this novelty interesting for several reasons. Firstly, I'd never heard of half the stuff, or at least seen it. Secondly, it's a recession, surely this is the worst time to breed dogs and/or open delicatessen vegetable sections? Thirdly, it's Morrisons.....not that I'm a snob but isn't Morrison's thing 'cheap and British'?

 

But as I wandered the brightly coloured aisles of exotic potential vitamins I started to get how it could work. I was actually quite excited by the new things. I wanted to buy one of everything and then google them when I got home to find out what virtuous exciting recipes I could make. I was getting inspired.

 

However, that would be excessive. Therefore, I am going to slowly work my way through the Morrison's Incredible Intergalactic Inglenook of Plant Produce, and post reviews.

 

So. Time for this week's

VEGETABLE OF THE WEEK

 

The Karela

 

Review: I chose this because it was up there with the weirdest-looking thing I could find. The helpful label on the veg table said 'Good in stir fries!'

 

I cut the end off and cut it up. The outside is firm and squeaky. The inside is soft and pithy. I fried it in butter along with some mushrooms.

 

It was AWFUL. It was SO BITTER! And chewy. Blergh. I've just googled it and it's called 'Bitter Melon.' It is sometimes used instead of hops in Chinese and Okinawan beers.

 

I quite like the surprise of eat first, google after. I think I will continue this format.

 

Stay tuned for the next VEGETABLE OF THE WEEK.

 

Porkfest

Vegemite - A Review.

Vegemite is Marmite’s mysterious foreign cousin, that we Brits know exists but have mostly never met. As a Marmite lover myself I was curious to find out if it’s true what many people have said – is Vegemite actually BETTER than the Marm?

On first appearances the packaging is a bit naff. Marmite does manage to hold an air of mystery with its cauldron-like jar, and its weighty glassness makes it feel special. Vegemite’s plastic tub with a label befitting that of processed honey or oven chips doesn’t make you excited to put it in your shopping basket.

Opening the tub and scooping some out with a knife I am met with quite a different texture to Marmite – where you’ve scooped it out, the shape remains – like, it’s more solid. Which could be seen as a benefit if you get annoyed by those inevitable Marmite strings that drizzle themselves over the screw neck, the jar, the bit of table between the jar and your plate, etc. That is perhaps what an unbiased person might think. But I am blinded by Marmite love and I think it is WEIRD.

Onto the taste. It’s kind of like Marmite but…sweeter….less ‘mature’ tasting…less depth to it….and with a hint of vomit.

Don’t get me wrong, I don't mind it, I’ve been having it on toast for 4 months (you have to do SOMETHING with gluten-free bread), it’s not horrible, it’s just…not at all right.. And nowhere near as good as Marmite.

Ooglie Booglie Part II and Possible Flood

Who after reading the last post thought I was a bit special booglying everything? Well guess what? Later, after posting that, Zappa got right into it and went more nuts than me!

The next day Zappa was working doing some garden work for some friends, but it started throwing it down with rain, so I went to pick him up after an hour or so. He’d had an idea the night before about painting a massive map of Australia on the wall, which I liked but didn’t take seriously as he’d had a few drinks and had also decided he was going to become a kung fu pro. However, there we were stuck in the house in a deluge with Zappa’s newfound free time, and he suggested we actually do it.

We went into town to get supplies – multiple big sheets of card we stuck together, paint and a map. We decided to stick to New South Wales as that’s realistically where we’ll probably stick to. And it was really fun! Apart from the geography exercise at the start, drawing gridlines and scaling things up and down. I made myself fired from that job. Painting with a big brush with big strokes is fun. I did the land and Zappa did the sea, and you can tell because the sea is immaculately blue and the land is like blerrgghhh.

We’re going to stick things on where we want to go and things we want to do, like stick surfboards on good-sounding beaches, and tents on possible campsites, and colour them in once we’ve done them. All the maps with that sort of information on them have been area map type things, and it gets really frustrating not being able to see the bigger picture of where everything is in relation to each other, so that you can plan a whole route.

Onto the Possible Flood! It has been deluging down for the last few days, and the river has got all fat and big, and is rather close to the underside of the bridge today. This is the river normally:

 

And this is it currently:

Well that really doesn't do it justice as it was taken in the car, but it's pretty full.

It’s not uncommon for the river to flood in the rainy season, and one half of Bellingen is completely cut off from the other. It’s not like Somerset floods, where there’s suddenly a soggy lake where a field used to be and you can go and take arty photos of reflections, here there’s a raging monster that flings big trees and dead cows down its torrent self, and you’re not allowed anywhere near it.

So in preparation for the Possibility, we have developed what my mum calls Siege Mentality (she usually uses it in a Christmas context), and today I went and bought up loads of food, including a tin of butter beans, which weren’t on the list but seemed like the sort of thing when you’re marooned you might end up eating. Damn, now I’ve remembered Winnie the Pooh’s tactics when he was flooded in. I should have got lots of jars of honey. I’m such an amateur.

Learning about Australia

The population of the UK is, according to google, 61 million.

The population of Australia is 21 million.

There they are.

The UK is       244,820 square km.

Australia is 7,686,850 square km.

This gives population densities of

UK: 395 people/km2

Oz: 2.8 people/km2

This could have something to do with the fact that 40% of the landmass of Australia is covered with sand dunes.

But the population density of New South Wales, the state we're in, is 8.87. NSW is supposed to be quite liveable-in.

Even the Australian Capital Territory only has a pop density of 154. That's the Canberra area.

Crazy!

Money:

Australian money is nice and colourful:

And the coins have Aussie animals on them. Can you see the 5cents one with the echidna? So cute! The 50 cents is 12 sided, so it's a...douzagon? Googling...Dodecagon. It weighs a ton cos it's quite thick too.

• Australian banks use 'Swedish rounding', where stuff is rounded to the nearest 5 cents, because nothing is really worth 1 cent and they can't be bothered with it all.
• When you pay with a card you have the option of PIN or sign. This seems backward to me. Some places, like petrol stations, you just hold your card up to a beeper thing and you're done.

Language:

Crisps are chips. Chips are hot chips or just chips, or maybe fries if they're really skinny. (?!)

Slang from Jake:

You're a cack! - You're hilarious

Devo - devasted

Avo - afternoon

It seems to be absolutely compulsory to say 'How are you.' after you greet someone, even if it's at the checkout when you're paying for your shopping.

Other Australian Things:

• The cheap sunscreen is still really nice.
• The weather is so unpredictable that the forecasters don't bother much with trying to predict it anymore, instead they tell you what the weather was like today with the evening news. It can be 30 degrees one day and then some sort of swirl comes off the antarctic and it's suddenly cold the next day.
• South-facing rooms aren't the ones that get the sun all day. Think about it. It's really screwing with my sense of direction.

 

Australian shopping

Tomato puree comes in yoghurt pots.

A plain primark-stylee grey hoodie sets you back $35! :S

There is sushi in the mall to fuel you.

There is a whole refridgerated supermarket aisle dedicated to a million different types of yoghurt :) We are the proud owners of a bucket of passionfruit yoghurt.

The mall is the size of a town but apparently it's not an especially big one. It's even got a medicare centre in it.

Woolworths lives on! As the supermarket with the yoghurt.

I am very proud of Zappa who is making progress with his thriftiness lessons. First he got hungry and caught the scent of a baked goods shop, but instead settled with some of the fruit and nut mix I'd brought along. Then we went to get him a phone, and he eventually with some helpful persuasion managed to pick the second to cheapest phone!!! This is all in one day.

We exchanged cultural information with the nice guy at Vodaphone. He wanted to be told about gypsies and Geordies, he told us about nice places to visit and what they have instead of Geordies, and we ended up having an argument as to whether Ross Noble has ever been blonde (No he HASN'T!).

The bin lorries

They tip the bins out into themselves!!

OM NOM NOM NOM

A cockatoo

This was just mooching about in someone's driveway on our street!

And look the pigeons have hairdos

Even their pigeons are cooler than ours!

Oh and MEGAN: I saw a galah!!!!