I have just been on a secret mission to steal apples from Next Door.
This mission began when I was wandering about in the field and saw so many lovely juicy apples of all different types and I wanted them, because we've run out. I thought to myself that that was naughty but then I thought to be fair, the lady never eats them. Look at the poor branches weighed down. So I snuck round the side, avoiding barbed wire and staying alert to banging noises coming from her garden somewhere (I didn't see anything, don't worry). And when I left my coat pockets were so heavy, they pendulumed about and whacked my legs, but in the name of missioning I kept a nonchalant expression as I sauntered back.
Here be the booty!
The only camera in the house was my bro's M9...so er, yeah, borrowed it.
The back right couple brought tears to my eyes. They look so sweet and juicy, I took a huge bite, and, well, they're juicy, but that's definitely as far as it goes. Thing is they're quite addictive, so looks like I'm going to cry my way through both of them. Hoohoo. Much blinking.
The small ones at the front: Sweeter, but after the tastebud assault of the stonking apples, tastes a bit boring. I need a palate cleanser. Cornflakes!
Post-cornflake tasting: Mm quite nice actually. But the texture is less dense than the stonking ones. Not sure I'd risk getting shouted at for going back for more.
Trio in between stonking and smalls: OOO YUMMO, as Sid the Sloth would say. Ooo. Win.
Ones still in a bunch with leaves on: Weird, it tastes like things that are supposed to taste like apples. A strange sensation, eating apple-flavoured apples.
Huge ones to the far left: argghhh more tear-inducing fruit!
So the clear winners are the sort of middle sized ones in between all the other ones. Next mission is to take one of their kind to identify more to steal.
This is the great thing about blogging isn't it? I can waffle on about whatever boring thing I like, imagining that it's interesting to someone else who isn't here eating these apples. No wonder everyone finds it so addictive. Well, this one was done on the pretense that I surely need to give it a test run, you know, make sure I know it works, so that I can use the next...5 weeks to iron out all those technical problems I might have...