Irregular Choice

It happens every year. In the summer, I become a hippie who only needs 3 sets of clothes and one set of flip flops. I denounce materialism and scoff at people who go shopping at the weekend. I declare I no longer need 'things' to make me happy and am going to throw away most of my possessions.

Then Autumn sets in, it gets colder, and I remember I wear at least 3 sets of clothes at once outside summertime. You can't do as much stuff outside and eating raw leaves doesn't sound that nice anymore. I start to feel a yearning for cinched wool dresses...

By Christmas I'm wishing I was a millionaire again, like everyone else. I've found so many lovely things I desperately want, as a by-product of shopping for presents and because internet browsing has long replaced slacklining in the garden. 6 months ago all I wanted to look like was healthy and beachy, now I want to look like one of the ladies from Mad Men, with their structured flattering dresses and painted lips.

Happily for me, I have been completely spoilt this Christmas (and birthday of course, got to love having them at the same materialistic time), and am now the proud owner of many yearned-for 'things', including a red leather retro Roberts radio to go with my Mad Men outfits, a posh new stereo for my little car and a whole sewing machine to make my Mad Men outfits with (more on that in another post...). However the finding 'things' exciting doesn't get cured so easily, that takes another couple of months, so please share with my the joy of admiring the shoes from Irregular Choice. If I was indeed a millionaire and my feet agreed with anything other than boots made of duvet I would buy lots of them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Morrison's Magical Fruit and Veg Section

I went to Morrison's the other day and was amazed. No, I am sadly not being sponsored. They'd done a refit and whilst 90% of it looked the same to me, the fruit and veg bit was ridiculous! New 'swamp coolers' breathed swirling marshy mists over central tables of immaculate produce, miniature lawns of herbs such as sage and mint were neatly but abundantly displayed. But the most striking thing was how much completely weird things they were stocking - prickly pears, spherical courgettes the size and shape of baseballs, dragon fruit, every kind of posh mushroom you could possibly hope to find in San Francisco....I was gobsmacked.

I can't be bothered to go and persuade a supermarket manager to let me take pictures of his territory, or have lots of shoppers stare at me while I do so, in fact, leaving the house is looking doubtful today. So instead I have searched the interweb for evidence and it turns out, it's not just Waterlooville where the aliens have landed. Here are some stolen pictures.

 

 

Love that there's a Wrexham.com.

 

I found this novelty interesting for several reasons. Firstly, I'd never heard of half the stuff, or at least seen it. Secondly, it's a recession, surely this is the worst time to breed dogs and/or open delicatessen vegetable sections? Thirdly, it's Morrisons.....not that I'm a snob but isn't Morrison's thing 'cheap and British'?

 

But as I wandered the brightly coloured aisles of exotic potential vitamins I started to get how it could work. I was actually quite excited by the new things. I wanted to buy one of everything and then google them when I got home to find out what virtuous exciting recipes I could make. I was getting inspired.

 

However, that would be excessive. Therefore, I am going to slowly work my way through the Morrison's Incredible Intergalactic Inglenook of Plant Produce, and post reviews.

 

So. Time for this week's

VEGETABLE OF THE WEEK

 

The Karela

 

Review: I chose this because it was up there with the weirdest-looking thing I could find. The helpful label on the veg table said 'Good in stir fries!'

 

I cut the end off and cut it up. The outside is firm and squeaky. The inside is soft and pithy. I fried it in butter along with some mushrooms.

 

It was AWFUL. It was SO BITTER! And chewy. Blergh. I've just googled it and it's called 'Bitter Melon.' It is sometimes used instead of hops in Chinese and Okinawan beers.

 

I quite like the surprise of eat first, google after. I think I will continue this format.

 

Stay tuned for the next VEGETABLE OF THE WEEK.

 

Moo-nshine

After my delightful experience drinking raw milk at Quigley and Jean's house, I decided to start buying it for myself, and as we're now in Byron Bay again, with it's rather alternative and health-food-loving population, I was pretty confident it would be commonplace. Then I had a tip-off that you're not allowed to drink it, really, and to get around it, people have been selling it as 'Pet Milk.' Not for human consumption. Gosh. Ok.
The whole raw milk issue is apparently creating quite a stir all over the place. Mums of toddlers are asking each other for sources on forums. In Brooklyn, US, people queue up shiftily in the early morning waiting for a secretivly-organised dropoff (http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/living-green/article.aspx?cp-documentid=18708415), meanwhile Campylobacter Blog (...really?) announces to its horrified followers:
'Milk "For Pet Use Only" Equals Raw Milk In Florida; Latest Scam To Sell Dangerous Product.'

I wandered round today and couldn't find any pet milk, and eventually sidled up to the guy on the till of one of the organic food shops and asked him if he had any of the contraband white substance I was looking for. He told me that the law people had gotten cross about the way people were buying pet milk for themselves, and so now they had to sell it as 'Bath Milk.' To bathe in. DEFINITELY not for human consumption.

'I would like some bath milk please,' I said.

I don't get it. Surely drinking raw milk and risking getting some sort of bacterial diarrhoea is the same sort of thing as eating raw chicken and risking getting salmonella (only much more appetising)? As long as, in the health and safety era we're in, you can show the consumer was informed of the risks? You should read that article I put a link to, the lengths people in the US are going to to get the stuff is hilarious.

Anyway like I say we are back in Byron while Jenny and Ray go to Sydney to be around their daughter Rosie whose first baby was due yesterday! Exciting. And we have FINALLY seen some sunshine for the first time after weeks of heavy rain!

Brahman-cross cattle by the huge fig tree, on a sunny evening.

Zap's not feeling too good so he's very frustrated about not being able to go surfing yet after being stuck inside for so long. But hopefully soon we'll be back on it with a vengenace.

Ooglie Booglie Part II and Possible Flood

Who after reading the last post thought I was a bit special booglying everything? Well guess what? Later, after posting that, Zappa got right into it and went more nuts than me!

The next day Zappa was working doing some garden work for some friends, but it started throwing it down with rain, so I went to pick him up after an hour or so. He’d had an idea the night before about painting a massive map of Australia on the wall, which I liked but didn’t take seriously as he’d had a few drinks and had also decided he was going to become a kung fu pro. However, there we were stuck in the house in a deluge with Zappa’s newfound free time, and he suggested we actually do it.

We went into town to get supplies – multiple big sheets of card we stuck together, paint and a map. We decided to stick to New South Wales as that’s realistically where we’ll probably stick to. And it was really fun! Apart from the geography exercise at the start, drawing gridlines and scaling things up and down. I made myself fired from that job. Painting with a big brush with big strokes is fun. I did the land and Zappa did the sea, and you can tell because the sea is immaculately blue and the land is like blerrgghhh.

We’re going to stick things on where we want to go and things we want to do, like stick surfboards on good-sounding beaches, and tents on possible campsites, and colour them in once we’ve done them. All the maps with that sort of information on them have been area map type things, and it gets really frustrating not being able to see the bigger picture of where everything is in relation to each other, so that you can plan a whole route.

Onto the Possible Flood! It has been deluging down for the last few days, and the river has got all fat and big, and is rather close to the underside of the bridge today. This is the river normally:

 

And this is it currently:

Well that really doesn't do it justice as it was taken in the car, but it's pretty full.

It’s not uncommon for the river to flood in the rainy season, and one half of Bellingen is completely cut off from the other. It’s not like Somerset floods, where there’s suddenly a soggy lake where a field used to be and you can go and take arty photos of reflections, here there’s a raging monster that flings big trees and dead cows down its torrent self, and you’re not allowed anywhere near it.

So in preparation for the Possibility, we have developed what my mum calls Siege Mentality (she usually uses it in a Christmas context), and today I went and bought up loads of food, including a tin of butter beans, which weren’t on the list but seemed like the sort of thing when you’re marooned you might end up eating. Damn, now I’ve remembered Winnie the Pooh’s tactics when he was flooded in. I should have got lots of jars of honey. I’m such an amateur.

Ooglie Booglie

Hello!

I think I have possibly worked out what the best thing in the world actually is. Now I’m not saying it’s the reason for existence but it makes existence a whole lot more excellent.

Booglie eyes!!!

We went into the variety store (kind of like a pound shop but not with a set price, just cheapness) to find egg cups (currently I am using bog roll tubes:)

and we found instead a caulking gun, a kilner jar, some cup measurer things and I found a packet of booglie eyes, of many many sizes, loads of them! I got very excited and Zappa said I could have them, and that he’d very nearly bought them for me last time he went into the shop.

So when we came home, Zappa started piping silicone everywhere (we’re waging a war against cockroaches but Zappa seems to be taking it especially personally) and I started putting eyes on things. My first lucky recipient was the Esky, so I put a little blob of super glue on each eye and stuck them on, easy peasy, job done in about 10 seconds.

Then I realised I’d stuck two of my fingers together! And they were totally stuck!

‘ARGH ZAPPA I’VE STUCK MY FINGERS TOGETHER! WHAT DO I DO?!’

‘Pull them apart.’

‘Argh no really!! What do I do? They’re totally stuck together!’

‘Really, that’s what you do. I suppose that anti-bonding agent we nearly bought might have worked too.’

I still don’t see how the stuff even got there. I put two tiny blobs on the eyes, then realised my 3^rd and 4^th fingers were totally glued together right down the sides. So I ripped them apart. Hurt a bit.

‘Is this your first time using superglue then?’

‘No…..it can’t be…’

‘But this is the first time you’ve stuck yourself together?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then it’s your first time using superglue.’

On with more eyeing-up.

 I don’t think I have laughed so hard for ages, well maybe 24 hours, as JohnBoy told a rude joke last night about a musical octopus.

Emma's birthday - by Zappa

My first blog. How exciting for you all.

Today has been Emma's birthday so I took the day off work (helping Ray our byron bay friend and host building a shed) and told Em we could do anything she wanted. We were deciding between snorkelling at Julian rocks – a short kayak ride from the pass in Byron, or going for a surf. After much deliberation we decided we’d go surfing on big yellow – rays 9’8” Malibu (which I have nicknamed big bird).We packed the boards and ballon animals and away we went.

The conditions were beautiful – the water was clear, the sun was shining it was amazing. Look see:

Em got some great rides – one of which she took this video of:

Check her out – groovy surf chick she is.I had some good rides on big bird so decided to get my 7’6 board out and have a little ride as I’ve been riding Ray’s custom Geoff Macoy’s (two beautiful and amazing to ride boards) and been making some good progress. Getting on my board made me realise it’s a bit too small and hard work for my abilities. It got me thinking – I should really trade this in for something a bit more sensible.... I probably shouldn’t tell Emma as she’s the sensible one when it comes to money.Anyway, after a great little session we went to buy Emma her favourite (gluten free) burger from in town. As she was so excited she obviously had to take a picture:It was sooo good and feeling very satisfied we decided to go home – but we thought we should go see Mad Dogs surfboard shop on the way home – Ray said the rafters contain an awesome surfboard museum. It was amazing, the history of surfing was all just there on display - old plywood boards and older surf skis.
Emma passed this and had to take a picture as its so pretty.

Then i spotted it. 9'6". Macoy. Immaculate. Dangerous. I was convinced Em wouldn't let me as it was $750 (prob over double that new). But she was as enthused as I was. I spoke to Mad Dog and left the shop to go seek out Ray for his advice - he successfully convinced me about a week before not to buy a beaten up old longboard so i was convinced he'd try and slow me down. Ray being a Macoy rider himself and loving his board was just amazed we'd found one so cheap and was as excited as we were. So anyway 10 mins later we were back selecting board bags and leg ropes to go with our new board and left my little board behind to find a new owner. It took us a good hour of sitting at home staring at it and pinching ourselves to be convinced it had all just happened.

So naturally - back to the beach:And then off out for some amazing sushi.I certainly enjoyed Em's birthday - particularly the present we bought ourselves. She should have birthdays more often.

Emma says: 'I had the best day EVER!!! I love EVERYTHING!'

Byron Market and Picnic Bench Friends

Yesterday we went to Byron Market. It was rather large, and there were so many pretty things, I was very lucky that my non-spending mood present in Nimbin was still holding, or we would have been POOR.

Zappa decides it's time to find food:

We found someone selling kayaks with sails! Genius!!!

The other day I went with Zappa when he went surfing at the Pass. I didn't feel up to surfing so I lay around and read my book. I got bored of lying on the beach after a couple of hours, so I went on a little walk on a bush path:

...and went and found myself a picnic bench. After a while of sitting there I noticed a tiny pile of dirt from the floor was moving along the table.

Don't know if you can see but it has legs:

What a clever bug! Disguising itself as some dusty stuff.

I was also visited by a magpie (I love them)





And a bush turkey. Bush turkeys are funny pieces of poultry that you usually see a lot of on the beaches around here. This is a picture of one when I was sitting on the beach earlier:

And I was very honoured by one coming to see me at my picnic table.

I gave it some pastry from my honey nut slice. Because I am a good gluten freebie and I leave the pastry.

Bwaarrk! Bush Turkey!



Nimbin

Good morning! Zappa got up at 6 to go surfing with Ray, and they're still gone (9am) so I thought I'd write about recent expeditions. This will be a wordy one because I feel like writing, so feel free to ignore the words and look at the pictures.

The other day Zappa was working with Ray, and I was excited about exploring the area but didn't have a clue where to start. So I asked Jenny for suggestions, and she said I could come along with her, as she had a few errands to run but she'd take me round and show me places too. Score. I thought she meant she'd just show me where she was going, which I was very up for, but she actually went way out of her way to show me other places.

First we went to the alkaline water place, because it's supposed to cure every illness and be generally good for you, so I thought why not try it for a couple of months. Ray and Jenny are on it and Ray's arthritis in his fingers has got a lot better, although I think he started a chondroitin, hyaluronin and glucosamine supplement at the same time so who knows. It was empty except for us, and the salesman guy there seemed to enjoy the chance to tell us all he knew. We had nowhere to be, so we sat down on a sofa and let him give us the Alkaline Water Saleman Show. I was ready to have a good old fight with a pseudo-science pusher, but he did quite well, only saying a couple of stupid-sounding things. He has a degree in clinical sciences so he wasn't just reciting a load of stuff he learnt, he could answer my questions about the chemistry and biology he was talking about. But yes he did announce that although scientists think it's exposure to the air that makes blood clot, it's actually acid, and your skin's acidic, so that's why it clots when you cut yourself. And soo, when you're more acidic in your body than you should be (the modern health scourge), your blood is thicker, so it's harder to pump round your body. I was like *CHOKE* what?! What so your blood is 'slightly' clotted in your blood vessels is it? Right. So how come if you take a blood sample from a vein and put it in a test tube, it clots? 'Ah,' he said, 'that's because it's reacting to the acid in the AIR.' .......never mind, let's move on.... Basically I'm still skeptical, but it's worth a try. I came away with a drinks bottle with a special filter and an alkalising teabag with little metal balls in. We will see.

Next we went to Bangalow, a little villagy town sort of thing, whose main street is very cute and looks like this:

(not my picture)

We had a look round the shops and had coffee in a very nice cafe (cos I drink coffee now yknow, but only if it's super posh, decaff, and mostly air). It was nice to have a proper chat to Jenny, she is such a lovely person.

Next we did some department store shopping off a main road, Jenny needed a feather boa and some twenties style shoes for a party. I got myself a top. Success.

Then I think we went to Lennox Head, which apparently the real estate of it is more expensive than Byron, which is as bad as Sydney! Spose they have the nice beachy countrysideness but without the drunk druggy school leavers every year.

Lennox Head main street (not my picture)

We stumbled across a gelato bar, which I cannot say no to. I decided that a smoothie would be healthier so got one of those, but it had so much ice cream in I don't think it was that angelic. It was good though, and was so filling it was my lunch.

Just beside Lennox Head is Lake Ainsworth (I feel fond of it just because of it's name. Such an unmagnificent name). It's lined with Tea Tree...trees (they're a type of eucalyptus), which are called that because they leech this dark brown stuff into water their roots are in, and make it look like black tea. So it looks a bit icky but apparently it's not, and is supposed to be good for your skin. Apparently people windsurf on it in the summer, so Zap and I might look into that.

Next we went to Broken Head, home to the campsite Jenny and Ray met at! It claims a stretch of the seemingly continuous creamy beach that runs down this part of the coastline. We went for a walk on the beach and a paddle, and we saw dolphins!!! I was so happy! This is the best picture I got of them, but it's still evidence:

Can you even see them?! While we were watching, one of them jumping right into the air and did st sort of flip!
At Broken Head, I found the place I want to take our naked climbing photo. The trouble is, it's prohibited to go to. We shall see. To be continued!

Yesterday Zap was again working with Ray so I decided to go on a lone expedition to Nimbin. I'd heard it was a hippieish place. I saw it on the map (see above) and was like cool, it's quite nearby. Put it into the sat nav and it said 1 hour 5 minutes, and I thought wow that's longer than I thought. Ah well! Expeditions are made more expeditionary by being further. Now. Sat navs aren't always the wisest of things. Whereas it should have taken me to Lismore (South West area of the map), and to Nimbin from there, taking the main roads, it didn't, and took me the more 'direct' route, which turned out to be through an extremely wiggly road though copious amounts of jungle and over a small mountain. It took over an hour and a half! It was exciting though, and the views that suddenly happened now and again were amaaaaazing! It really was like being in a rainforest with a road through it, and when I went up the mountain and got a view, I could see the canopy stretching for miles and miles, and I felt like I was in one of those wildlife documentaries, where they show you the forest with a helicopter. I had The Williams Fairey Brass Band on the stereo, which turned out to be perfect music for an explorer. Look it up, it's so good!

The roads were pretty bad, craters would suddenly open up in the road and it was generally worn away. As I got closer, the bumps and potholes started being highlighted, almost decorated, which were great for giving you more warning and showing you the shape of them. I was grateful.

Eventually I got to Nimbin! It was a stinking hot day. I roamed the high street, looking in all the wacky shops and talking to people. The guy from the environmental awareness sort of shop ranted to me about coal seam gas for a while, and asked me why I was so far from home. I told him I had CFS and a lady behind me suddenly said 'OH Nimbin's a good place for you then. It'll help you get better, and also hemp oil, when I put it on my face my back goes all relaxed.' I chatted to the guy in the art gallery and he wanted to know about Bellingen, and said he'd like to go there sometime. He revealed to me that the decorated potholes are done by a local guy who actually does it illegally, but people give him money for it. He said one day he's going to get himself runover. I browsed through a mad clothes shop and listened to a woman giving healing advice to the shop owner about her cat, explaining that it was a fungus spreading through it and definitely wasn't cat flu so not to worry. I went to a crystal shop and listening to the girl running it advising a customer what pretty stones would be good for her to buy - by reading straight out of a crystal book.

I found the food emporium, which had big buckets of stuff with little spades in so you could help yourself, like gluten free muesli, dried figs, kelp, soy crunchies and things. I was tempted by many things but was in a can't-part-with-money mood so didn't. I went to Happy High Herbs, where the girl behind the counter couldn't tell me much about the healing herbs or liver-supporting teas, but when a group asked her about legal highs or what properties each type of smoking herbs had, she was very forthcoming.

I sat down on a bench for a rest and was offered marijuana by an old Aborigine guy. Someone came and comically-try-hard-subtly bought something from him. Then I went into the hemp shop, which told me hemp was the best building material, clothing material, reading material, antimaterialistic material, antimatter material......and would you like to buy a pipe?  

 This was one of the posts that held up the walkway cover. I thought it was cool.

Eventually I'd seen everything I wanted to and decided to go home, via Lismore this time. Lot quicker. Here is a picture of Nimbin Rocks, that you see as you leave.

When I got back I couldn't wait to get in the pool! Zappa came and joined me and we played childish games like who can sit on the bottom for the longest and race you to the other side underwater with your eyes closed. I was in there for nearly 2 hours! I was nicely knackered after that. I LOVE swimming. I'm going to swim everyday.